Cursed? or simply unlucky!

Memorial Day 2024 is officially added to the list of worst days in Prinses’ life.

She started feeling a little under the weather the Friday before. Just out of the blue she started feeling sad and started crying. It had been a week since she went in for her egg retrieval procedure and was supposed to hear back from the team regarding next steps.

Let’s go back in time!

Approximately 24 years ago, Prinses had an abortion. She had been sneaking around with her than boyfriend but was still in school. She was living with my grandmother and a few of her aunts were teen moms so grandma would remind her constantly. After a while her grandmother would sound like a broken record, but she and her younger sister knew what would happen if they ever came home pregnant. She was not on birth control since nobody knew she was sexually active, and it so happened that she got really sick while on her period. She had to travel to a neighboring country for sports and her aunt provided birth control pills to use to delay her period.

When she returned from her sport tournament, she and her than boyfriend had sex and her stupid behind told him he could ejaculate inside of her since she had recently used the birth control pills.

Prinses’ period was always on time except for that month, so she panicked.

Long story short, she drank a bunch of old folk remedies, but nothing helped. Her than boyfriend who was 5 years older than her, with a job, wanted to keep the baby, but she was too scared of what her grandmother would do so she decided to have it removed.

His home situation was not the best, she would have been suspended from school and her grandmother would have thrown her out. At least that is what grandma would remind them of every time. She had too much to lose so she went ahead with the abortion. She went on birth control after, and they continued with the relationship for a couple of years. When she was done with school she stopped the birth control after a while. The relationship ended and she went on with her life. Her ex-boyfriend ended up marrying a lady with a bunch of kids and they had a few together.

The new boyfriend!

Her new boyfriend already had one child from his previous relationship and since they ended up moving in together, his daughter would visit them regularly. He knew she wanted kids, so they tried. She did not have a great job but they both worked and had a roof over their heads so why not.

She would get excited every month and ended up disappointed in as many times. His insecurities got the best of him, and they broke up after a couple of years.

She stayed single for a while but had a few sexual partners she did not consistently use protection with. She about had it with relationships and figured she might as well get a baby this way. Still no luck.

The ex-husband!

After a few years of being single she gave it all another try when she met her now ex-husband. He also had a child from a previous relationship, but the mother did not allow him to see the child while he was together with Prinses. He could only go visit her at her mother’s house, so he declined. She motivated him to continue trying and at least open an account for her to safe money until she was big enough to seek contact herself. They eventually got married and, in his culture, it is customary that woman start popping out kids as soon as they are in a relationship and/or married. Even though nobody made remarks to her face, she did hear the excuses her ex-husband would make on her behalf every time they would visit his family. They tried naturally without success and eventually ended up trying IUI. It was a very stressful time for them because they had to have sex on demand for testing purposes. She had to test every day for a positive ovulation. When they did the IUI she got severe cramps when it was that time of the months again and she ended up in the emergency room because she could not stop throwing up. She ended up getting her period, but the doctors could not pinpoint what caused the cramps and throwing up. She told her ex-husband that they would take a break, so they went on vacation and discussed to try again when they returned.

They got separated and ended up not giving it a second try. They got divorced after.

Current husband!

Meet Sarah, a busy professional battling anxiety. She stumbled upon a pottery workshop in her town and decided to give it a try. What started as a one-time activity became a weekly ritual. Shaping clay with her hands, Sarah found peace and focus she hadn’t experienced in years. Slowly, her anxiety decreased, and she began feeling more in control of her emotions.

Getting Started with Arts & Crafts

1. Choose Your Craft: Experiment with activities like painting, knitting, woodworking, or journaling to find what resonates with you.
2. Set Aside Time: Dedicate an hour each week to creating, free from distraShe met her current husband, and he knew from the beginning that she wanted kids. He has three kids from two previous relationships, but that was never an obstacle for them.
3. In 2021 she got an opportunity to relocate to another country for work and since they were both married once before they were planning on giving a long-distance relationship a try to avoid rushing into another marriage. She relocated and he visited. After the first visit they knew it would not work so they ended up getting married and he joined her in the new location.
4. At the end of 2023 they started talking to the fertility doctor after consulting with a lovely lady who had been through the process. Prinses was not getting any younger and the natural was not bearing any fruits. She knew not to expect much because her age put her in a difficult category.
5. She got started with the tests which were already a little uncomfortable. She had to get her blood drawn regularly and her not being an easy stick made it a very tense process.
6. She got all her tests done and had to get a minor surgery schedule before she could get started. She did that and went on vacation. Prinses and her husband agreed on IVF because it gave them the better chances of success.
7. When they returned from vacation she got started with the medication. She was so not looking forward to the needles, but it ended up being less painful than she anticipated it to be.
8. She had to go into the clinic every three days to get her blood drawn and get an ultrasound. Based on the results she would receive further instructions and the egg retrieval was ready to be scheduled.
9. The clinical team managed to retrieve six eggs of which three were fertilized but they unfortunately did not make it to the next stage. That is the bad news she received on Memorial Day.
10. It has been two days since she received the news and even though she is still sad and disappointed she is trying her best to come to terms with the idea that she might never have kids.
11. She can’t help to think back to the time she decided between life and death and that she is being penalized for a choice she made as a teenage girl. She can’t help to think that she might have removed the only child she was meant to have. She cannot help to think that she might have to live with this guilt for the rest of her life. #guiltyconscience
12. She wanted to adopt a child regardless of if she had kids of her own or not. She will still do so since she has a lot of love to give.
13. Embrace Imperfection: Remember, it’s not about perfection—it’s about enjoying the process.
14. Join a Community: Connect with local or online crafting groups to share ideas and inspiration

The more the merrier!

Curious fish

She prays that the universe forgives her some day for the decision she made over life and death!